This just hit my inbox. Google Voice transcribed the important parts right, but also added a certain flare that seems very appropriate for GoDaddy. The only modifications made were stripping the phone number.
Couldn’t do this better if I tried.
Category: Funny
hahaha
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Hot Dog Bun Math
It’s the 4th of July weekend here in the US. Today’s BBQ1 got me thinking about that conspiracy theory from Father of the Bride regarding the mismatch of hot dogs quantities and hot dog bun quantities. Steve Martin’s character goes nuts over the discrepancy.
This is really an exercise in Least Common Multiples that no teacher seems to exploit (at least none that I ever had).
Research tells me that the reality of this joke is a little more complicated than 8 hot dogs and 12 buns. It may even vary based on location. From what I can tell the most common hot dog packages are 8 and 10, while the most common bun packages are 10 and 12. That means a 10/10 purchase is a win in terms of efficiency. I suspect there are more combinations, but 8/10 and 10/12 seem to be the most common. Here’s a table of the possibilities:
| Hot Dog Qty. | Hot Dog Bun Qty. | Least Common Multiple | Least Hot Dog Packages | Least Hot Dog Bun Packages |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 8 | 10 | 40 | 5 | 4 |
| 8 | 12 | 24 | 4 | 2 |
| 10 | 10 | 10 | 1 | 1 |
| 10 | 12 | 60 | 6 | 5 |
This leaves me to question: who profits more from this? To figure this out, we’d need to know buying habits of people and costs involved in producing, packaging, shipping these goods. I don’t have that on hand, but I can draw a pretty graph of how many packages of each you’d need to not waste food:
So it looks like we’ll be eating hot dogs in sandwich bread and making tiny sandwiches out of left over hot dog buns for years to come.
1. Technically you grill hot dogs (hot and fast), not BBQ (low and slow) but American etymology is funny.
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Evolutionary Baby Got Back
The song “Baby Got Back” has been a reoccurring joke on this blog several times as I’ve covered various parodies. The funny folks at Reddit decided to translate and discover the evolutionary meanings behind the song. Screenshot for posterity is below with a link to a larger sized image. The original thread can be found here.
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Fat, Ugly Or Slutty?
There is a blog dedicated to guys who act like jerks towards female gamers. Never quite understood what that was about. For what it’s worth women play way more games than the stereotypes suggest. They are also a growing demographic by many accounts. It’s amusing to read, but sad at the same time.
Here is today’s cute/amusing video.
I have a small suspicion her mother or father planted the seed in her head. Also amusing is the follow up video where she professes her admiration for Seinfeld, the desire to write jokes, despite the fact that “nobody laughs at me” and the need “for someone to tweet me”.
I’d like to see the follow up in 15 years.
It’s done several hundred thousand views in the past 24hrs. I think it’s viral now.
I’m going to start by saying NSFW. You will want headphones if listening to this video at work or in the presence of easily offended. It’s extremely well done. It’s based on this song, which is obviously also NSFW.
If it’s not already obvious, I have a love for musical parodies and oddly creative covers. I’ve got a few more in queue for this blog.
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Enterprise CSS/JS/HTML
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Coming Soon: 3D Pornography
Apparently some enterprising director is working on 3D porn. Yes, the same technology being used in movies, but for porn. Will anyone want to actually watch porn in 3D? Will they be able to sit through it without ducking? I’m really not sure. I suspect morbid curiosity may help lift the sales for the first one. It may also make a good novelty gift when it’s on Blu-ray.
If that isn’t bad enough Gizmodo is reporting that someone is at work on an IMAX 3D porn flick. I can’t even type this without cringing and laughing. I dare anyone to watch that in an IMAX theater and not duck under their seats. This might be the worst idea I’ve read in a long time. I don’t think anyone wants to see that in 3D on such a large encompassing screen. Or maybe I’m totally wrong and it will be wildly popular.
I recall a few years ago reading about the backlash of people who found HD to be “too much”. Even worse than watching with headphones. This is going in a whole other direction.
This was to silly for me not to post.
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Taking Good Photos
The OkCupid blog has a pretty cool series of posts analyzing all sorts of data that they collect in anonymous ways. This time around they analyzed photos taken and tried to figure out trends behind what makes people attractive. Some of the more interesting things:
- Panasonic cameras are better than Nikon,
- Interchangable lens cameras (like digital SLRs) are better than basic point & shoot, which are better than camera phones.
- iPhone users have more sex,
- Flash makes you look older (obvious, harsh lighting is nobody’s friend).
- Shallow depth of field is a good thing,
- Late night, late afternoon photos are better.
In conclusion they say:
It’s actually not that hard. Use a decent camera. Go easy on the flash. Own the foreground. Take your picture in the afternoon. Then visit the nearest Apple store. Done.
Very interesting stuff. It’s a great example of what can be done with a large set of data. I’m guessing somewhere deep within Google and Facebook are a group of people doing even deeper analysis with a much larger set of data.
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Monkey Cocaine Research
Buried in an article on stimulus spending:
Then there is the project listed at No. 28 by the senators — $71,623 to researchers at Wake Forest University to see how monkeys react to cocaine.
Titled “Effect of Cocaine Self-Administration on Metabotropic Glutamate Systems,” the project calls for monkeys to self-administer drugs while researchers monitor and study their glutamate levels, the report said.
Emphasis mine.
Maybe I’m alone here, but the government funding monkeys that can snort cocaine on their own is pretty impressive. I’ll be really impressed if they can get one to cook meth. Even more interesting is if they can get them to understand enough about commerce to buy and sell. This is the first step towards making Planet of the Apes a reality.