In The News Rants

Rob Rants: Cell Phones

I’ve discussed this before, but with a recent new study it’s appropriate to rant. So I bring you another installation of “Rob Rants”.

First of all, of course many conversations are faked. We all knew that for a long time. How did we know that? Because only a handful of people are actually important. The rest are as unimportant as you or I. Did anyone really expect me to believe I’m the only one not making multi-billion dollar deals on the street? Some people act like they have more important business than the president. Yea, you didn’t fool me for a minute.

Second of all, we really need a law against using cell phones in some places. It seems way to many people want others to hear their conversations. Lets get this strait: I don’t care what you did at work, how good/bad your kids are, what you plan to do this weekend or tonight, why your upset/happy, or what your doing for dinner. Got it? I don’t care. Nor does anyone else around you.

And that goes for those who leave their annoying phones on their annoying ring tones in places where they shouldn’t be. Early in the morning on the train nobody wants to hear your phone’s stupid ring tone. It’s not cute, it’s not cool. It’s annoying. Same goes with in the middle of class, at church, at the theater, etc. Put it on vibrate and put your phone in your pocket. People who violate this social rule the most are into self gratification without regard for others anyway, so perhaps they will enjoy that.

Oh yea. Just because you put your hand to your face doesn’t make it less annoying. Your hand doesn’t insulate against sound. It just blocks your moronic face. If there’s anything more annoying than an idiot in a mindless conversation on the phone, it’s an idiot talking on the phone with their hand in front of their face thinking their hand makes a phone booth. Well guess what, it doesn’t. You just look stupid. It’s even more stupid when your hand gets tired and you switch hands.

And I’d like to address one more thing. People who like to talk dirty or semi-dirty on the phone. You perverts who think it will impress the people around you to talk dirty. Well get a life, it doesn’t work. It’s doing the complete opposite. We don’t care what you plan to do after your date, and we don’t care about what you did with your significant other last night. It’s gross, repulsive and just obnoxious. And of course we all know there’s a 95% chance that there’s nobody on the other end. So your literally talking to your hand. Which is rather appropriate as your hand is likely the partner your talking about. Got that Casanova?

So put your cell phone away and shut up. We don’t care. Your not important, your not special, your not interesting. Unless your in the tabloids every week, odds are absolutely nobody cares about your personal life or sex life. So don’t bother sharing it. We don’t care. So shut up, and get a life.