Make me laugh for a Gmail account

Ok, well I have a few Gmail accounts to give away, but I want to have fun. So here’s your mission:

Make me laugh

Rules (must read before attempting this contest)

  • I decide. Simple as that, 100% up to me. That’s the way it goes.
  • USE THE COMMENTS FORM… unless…
    If your going to say something that may be deemed offensive, use the comment form. Do not try and make a comment with a dirty joke. Violators may be disqualified, and blocked. Use the comment form if your not sure, and if it’s appropriate, I’ll give you the nod to make a comment. Adult jokes by comment form ONLY. No exceptions. Make a mistake, and you will make me mad.
  • Information required: valid email and name. That’s who I will send it to. Use bogus data sflkdsjf@adsfjlksdf.com and you will not get an invite.
  • Multiple entries allowed, but use discretion. If I feel you are to spammy, your not getting one. So send your best 1 or 2.
  • Oh, feel free to invite others to try. And come back to read. Hopefully a few won’t be ‘comment only’

    As for what tickles my funnybone… well that’s half the game. Those who know me, know very well what the sweet spot is. For the rest of you, good luck. Don’t bother asking, I won’t tell, you can scour the blog if you want. Not sure if that will help though.

    There are 2 (maybe 3) accounts to give away this time. Lets see how good you guys are.

    Use the comments form in compliance with the rules above. Violators WILL be prosecuted.

    This contest will run until at least Sunday night (9:00 PM EST). It may be extended at my will if the contest has a lot of entries (and if they are good).

    13 thoughts on “Make me laugh for a Gmail account

    1. Don’t have any funny jokes, so here’s a funny personal story.

      Last semester my roommate got a job with the campus IT Response Center. I thought it sounded cool so I applied too. I didn’t hear back from them for some time, and in the meanwhile, my laptop, ipod, digital camera and calculator were stolen from my dorm room while said roommate was sleeping and while I was out of the room. He claims he woke up and saw someone pilfering through my desk, which is what he told the cops.

      So I believe him, just because that’s the kind of guy I am. But… several months later, I’m going through his posts on his favorite message board and I find a series of posts that he made attempting to sell…. you guessed it: an ipod, digital camera and calculator (TI89).

      I get the cops involved and they take the case essentially nowhere. *But* I did end up getting that job at the ITRC. And after making friends in all the right places, I ask some coworkers if they knew the guy well, and tell them the story of the thievery. Turns out that no one really liked him there, and my supervisor sends out an email requesting that my now ex-roomate be fired!!

      Not sure if that’s funny to anyone else, but I think the pain and suffering is worth an gmail account.

    2. What’s “mi-su-say”?
      Seriously, it’s a English word.

      What’s what my sistor asked me. Turned out she meant “misuse” (mis-use). Guess .text1 and .text2 classes have practical use outside long word like multimedia 🙂

    3. Q: What did one candle say to the other candle?
      A: Are you going out tonight?

      It’s funnier when my son tells it.

      Q: Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
      A: They taste funny.

      Oh well, it was worth a try.

    4. A man takes his dog to a bar. In the bar, the dog does what dogs do and starts licking his balls. Another guy observes this and remarks: I wish I could to that! The dog’s owner responds: If you ask him nicely, he might let you …

    5. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

      Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”

      A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”

    6. A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient’s room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

      Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

      The doctor asked patient number 1 what he was doing. The patient replied, “Can’t you see I’m sawing this piece of wood in half?” The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, “Oh. He’s my friend, but he’s a little crazy. He thinks he’s a lightbulb.” The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2’s face is going all red.

      The doctor asks Patient #1, “If he’s your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself”

      Patient #1 replies, “What? And work in the dark?”

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