I can’t be an accountant because:
- Accounting is boring.
- Accounting involves math, I have an allergy to math.
- Accounting involves pencils, I like pens.
- Accountants are CPA’s. Not exactly a catchy title.
- Accounting is examining other people’s money… not my own.
- Accounting as “counting” in the name. Not exactly something to impress people with.
- Accounting office parties just sound lame… they must be 10X worse than they sound.
- Top of the line Accounting software is “Peach Tree”. Not “Peach”, not “tree”, “Peach Tree”. A little fruity. At least “Apple” sounds cool. “Peach” just doesn’t.
- Celebrating the Fiscal New Year sounds like the most depressing new year yet.
- I don’t want to be somebody’s “Bob from Accounting”. Eek.
“Call Bob from accounting. See if he has those TPS reports ready” [Sound of gunshot as Bob kills himself]
Needless to say, Accounting I is a pain in the butt.