I’m pretty sure this is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen on the internet, and we all know I’ve seen pretty much every sick meme to ever cross the internet.
wikiHow is an interesting site with some pretty informative pages. However it also has some things that are just outright amusing, questionable, or potentially capable of giving you a nosebleed if you try to read them.
I’ve went through many of them and found some of the hidden gems. Here are some of my favorites along with some colorful commentary:
- How to Give a Man Hug – There’s a lot of detail here. I almost feel like I need a cheat sheet. This is only the first link, it’s a downward spiral from here. You’ve been warned.
- How to Blend With Trekkies Socially – I’m curious how many have actually needed this article. I’d also like to know how many have actually wanted to.
- How to Get a Weird Nerd to Stop Following You (for Guys and Girls) – Speechless.
- How to Look Like Tina Turner for a Fancy Dress Party – Is this a common desire? Ladies? Please chime in.
- How to Find Locations to Wear Bikini when Summer Time Is Over – Is this a common desire ladies?
- How to Become a Philosopher – From Pluto to Plato in only 10 simple steps!
- How to Dress Like a Hippie – I’m guessing kids today couldn’t figure this out without Google.
- How to Brush Your Teeth in the Shower – How about get up 90 seconds earlier? Worst case mouthwash and a cup in an emergency.
- How to Get a Girl to Hate You – Who needs to read up on how to do this? Unless you’re Giacomo Casanova, getting people to hate you is one of the easiest things to do. Getting people to like you needs an article.
- How to Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is Obsessed With Your Butt – How to date Sir Mix-a-Lot.
- How to Deal With Having a Big Butt As a Teenager – I’m sure Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Biel had it rough too, and they survived without a how to article. For them it turned out to be an ass-et. [Haaa! I kill me].
- How to Work out Who You’ve Woken up Next to After a Heavy Night – This might also be the plot to the sequel to The Hangover.
- How to Tell if You Have Started Puberty (for Girls) – I was never a teenage girl, but I’m pretty sure most girls don’t need this. Possibly all.
- How to Give Yourself a Brazilian Wax – Here’s one I will never execute on. If I ever did, I’d hire a professional. This doesn’t seem like a DIY job.
- How to Pierce Your Own Penis – Ahhhhh. This better be some sort of sick joke. Do not attempt this. Ever. It shouldn’t be done period, and especially not DIY. There doesn’t seem to be a female equivalent for this. I guess they are more sensible.
- How to Hide An Erection – I’ll summarize: cover and think of something disgusting until it goes away.
- How to Get Baptized on Your Period – To quote “Let the blood flow. Hey, if God can turn the waters to blood, so can you” and “Roll with it. If the water becomes noticeably redder exclaim ‘The blood of Christ runs through me! Hallelujah!'”.
- How to Stop Staring at a Girl’s Boobs – It’s not that easy.
That concludes this tour of the Internet. I hope you had fun.