Funny In The News Software

Bill Gates too rich for Normal Computers

“Microsoft founder too rich for tax computer to handle” according to this article. Gates allegedly said:

My tax return in the United States has to be kept on a special computer because their normal computers can’t deal with the numbers…

How much you want to bet the “special computer” is Linux, and the “normal computers” run Windows?


Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Overstock MLK Sale

You can’t make this stuff up. had the brilliant idea of having a “White Sale” and sending out an add on MLK’s Birthday with that title!

This offer applies to the lower 48 states and APO/FPO destinations only. This offer excludes orders from “Auctions.” This promotion cannot be combined with any other offer or coupon. Offer ends January 17, 2006 @ 11:59 PM MST.

They also discriminate against 2 states, and exclude Auctions! Yup, there’s some extra irony for you.

You’d think marketing people would look at a calendar before doing stuff like this, it’s not like it’s an obscure thing that only a handful of people know about. Just ask a banker, or the mail man ;-).

This is about as stupid as celebrating Memorial Day with a sale. Since there’s no better way to salute those who died for your country, then by getting 10% off a new shirt!

This isn’t worth anyone getting their panties in a bunch, but it is rather silly of them.

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Funny Programming

Holiday SQL

You’ve got to be somewhat nerdy for this, but if your reading this, you automatically qualify. Perhaps I’ll add to this list when I’m bored. If I have the time. If someone is so inclined, feel free to do so below.

Santa’s Present List

SELECT fName, lName, street, city, state, zip, country
FROM people
AND age < 18
ORDER BY country DESC;

Santa’s Coal List

SELECT fName, lName, street, city, state, zip, country
FROM people
WHERE STATUS = ‘naughty’
AND age < 18
ORDER BY country DESC;

Santa’s Personal Wish List

SELECT fName, lName, street, city, state, zip, country
FROM people
WHERE STATUS = ‘naughty’
AND height BETWEEN 67 AND 72
AND cupSize > ‘C’
AND sex = ‘female’

Paris Hilton’s Personal Wish List

SELECT fName, lName, street, city, state, zip, country
FROM people

Feel free to give it a try if your geeky enough to do so. I’ll update them to color syntax.

Funny Space

Milky Way Bar

According to scientists there is a bar in the center of the Milky Way Galaxy. Here’s a rendering of it:
Milky Way Galaxy
AP Photo

Here’s what was already known about the topic:
Milky Way Bar
Mars Company

All I can say is “yummy”.

Funny In The News

FedEx Furniture

FedEx Furniture is pretty cool. Strong furniture made out of those really strong FedEx boxes (great packages BTW as they ensure your package arrives in 1 piece. Leave it to them to get really upset about this free advertising.

Typically, if your company gets good free advertising about how great your product/service is, and fans doing eccentric stuff to show how great your stuff is: It’s a big win.

But to FedEx management, this isn’t the case. Positive press for solid packaging is a big problem. So the executives got together and got FedEx legal to harass the guy to ensure that FedEx gets some bad press (in hopes that things balance out).

Amazing how dumb some executives can be. They are handed some good free advertising, and intentionally create bad press in hopes of preventing good press. Yea, try that logic out.

Yup, that’s really going to help you out.

Brand Recognition folks. It’s insanely hard to get. Building it costs tons of cash, and rarely works out. FedEx has it, and has fans who encourage the brand and spread it for them. And FedEx is surprisingly against brand recognition. Amazing. There are thousands of companies across the US who would pay for that type of free press.



PostSecret may be the funniest blog I’ve ever seen. Some are brilliantly funny. I can see a book coming from that in the near future.

Hat tip: Scoble.

Apple Funny Tech (General)

Geek Comics

If your a nerd like me, you should be reading geek comics. My two favorites are:

The Joy of Tech
PC Weenies

both well done, current, and quite funny.

Funny In The News

Advertising and the media

“We all leave our doors unlocked. We can run around in our nighties. It’s all girls and we feel really safe and that will change,” said student Starbuck Hersey.

A hearing on the lawsuit against the school is scheduled for Dec. 16. Until then, the school is actively recruiting male applicants.

[Source: @ 12/8/2004 1:20 PM EST]

Think they will have trouble recruiting male applicants after that quote? That’s about as great advertising as it gets!

Funny Google

Make me laugh for a Gmail account

Ok, well I have a few Gmail accounts to give away, but I want to have fun. So here’s your mission:

Make me laugh

Rules (must read before attempting this contest)

  • I decide. Simple as that, 100% up to me. That’s the way it goes.
    If your going to say something that may be deemed offensive, use the comment form. Do not try and make a comment with a dirty joke. Violators may be disqualified, and blocked. Use the comment form if your not sure, and if it’s appropriate, I’ll give you the nod to make a comment. Adult jokes by comment form ONLY. No exceptions. Make a mistake, and you will make me mad.
  • Information required: valid email and name. That’s who I will send it to. Use bogus data and you will not get an invite.
  • Multiple entries allowed, but use discretion. If I feel you are to spammy, your not getting one. So send your best 1 or 2.
  • Oh, feel free to invite others to try. And come back to read. Hopefully a few won’t be ‘comment only’

    As for what tickles my funnybone… well that’s half the game. Those who know me, know very well what the sweet spot is. For the rest of you, good luck. Don’t bother asking, I won’t tell, you can scour the blog if you want. Not sure if that will help though.

    There are 2 (maybe 3) accounts to give away this time. Lets see how good you guys are.

    Use the comments form in compliance with the rules above. Violators WILL be prosecuted.

    This contest will run until at least Sunday night (9:00 PM EST). It may be extended at my will if the contest has a lot of entries (and if they are good).


    Man Commits Sucide After Sex with Hen

    From the awesome Reuters news service (an obvious website to be checking out every so often):

    A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.

    The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.

    “He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,” a police spokesman said.

    It goes on to say:

    The hen was slaughtered after the incident.

    Source: Reuters

    It becomes really creepy when people start having sex with species that aren’t even mammals.

    Thanks to Reuters for always making the news interesting to read.