Category: Funny

hahaha

Categories
Funny

Man Commits Sucide After Sex with Hen

From the awesome Reuters news service (an obvious website to be checking out every so often):

A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday.

The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise.

“He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape,” a police spokesman said.

It goes on to say:

The hen was slaughtered after the incident.

Source: Reuters

It becomes really creepy when people start having sex with species that aren’t even mammals.

Thanks to Reuters for always making the news interesting to read.

Categories
Funny

Childless couple told to try sex

I got to admit. I almost find it amazing that people like this are being told how to have children. If your that out of touch with instinct, how is a helpless infant going to survive? These people may not know they need to feed that child. If they are missing this instinct, what else may not be obvious to them?

“…were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate.”

I’m also quite curious how you can suppress your instincts that long. Thankfully the human race didn’t rely on them to exist. If they were Adam and Eve, we wouldn’t be on this earth. If your going to be the last person on earth, and can have someone to help you repopulate the planet… don’t pick these people!

If it wasn’t for my horse, I would have never made it through that year of college
– Lewis Black

That holds the record for the must insanely stupid thing prior to this article.

Just amazing. But then again, this could debunk the theory that sex is instinctual. I’m sure psychologists will be all over them for the next few years.

Some people are so amazingly numb in the head, it’s just plain sad. Any dumber, and they could become president of the United States.

Categories
Funny

FU FCC

This is the best thing I’ve heard in ages:

http://www.pythonline.com/plugs/idle/FCCSong.mp3

So true, so true. And F**** you Bush, F*** you Cheney, F*** Asscrot, F*** you FCC.

😀

Categories
Funny

Octopus Sex Stories

Oh boy. Leave it to the Associated Press to write an article so great. Reads like a porno for the blind.

Some steamy excerpts:

Aquarists at the Alaska SeaLife Center introduced the 5-year-old J-1 to Aurora on Tuesday morning. The two really hit it off. Spermatophores were seen hanging from J-1’s siphon….

Now doesn’t that bring a great image to mind?

With so little time left, J-1 wasn’t going to let the sweet Aurora slip through his eight octopus arms. While she had to make the first move, he caught on quickly…

Mmm, that’s great stuff.

She reached out an arm and touched him. Only then did he wake up to the fact he had company….

Can you hear the music in the background?

The two remained intertwined for about eight hours. It’s possible that during that time when J-1 was exploring Aurora’s mantle with his many suckered arms that he passed his sperm packet to her, Hocking said….

8hrs! Way to go J-1. And who said you old guys needed viagra?

Yea, that’s quite erotic.

Yes, I did enjoy it. I got a great laugh, and did learn a think or two about octopus. So the author did do a great job. But I couldn’t help but get a good chuckle. 😀

Categories
Funny

And suddenly it all began to make sense…

Me: I think on a larger scale than most
Nick: yeah
Me: you’d think I’d be compensating for something… but I think I’m complementing something
Nick: it happens

Categories
Funny Personal

One more week

One more week of CLASSES.

Then FINALS

Then…. ah… sweet summer.

So yes, I’m busy. When I’m not involved in academic work, I’m working on project aquarius. And yes, that’s slated for this summer (I hope).

Oh, a side effect of a biology presentation resulted in Wolf Pr0n for your own enjoyment. And you thought having your dog hump your leg or lick peanut butter off your body was kinky.

Categories
Funny In The News

Most Pathetic Man Alive

If this isn’t pathetic, nothing is.

Do people have any self respect? I guess not.

Categories
Funny

Tongue Twister

Here’s some fun. From the roomie’s. Haven’t seen this one in ages.

Dr. Seuss’ lost tounge twister
see if you can do this:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.

Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can’t resist passing it on!

Categories
Funny

Janet Jackson half off at Half Time

That might be the best picture taken by the AP in years. It completely captures the moment. From that evil look on Justin Timberlake’s face… to the sheer embarrassment of Janet Jackson’s face. Timberlake looks like he’s about to run out and molest a dozen cheerleaders.

Well, another Jackson who feels the need to expose themselves in sight of children:
Drudge report
Hi Resolution
Hi Resolution 2

Pic 1,Pic 2, Pic 3 (sorry, these appear to have been removed by the poster)

Etc.

Pic 1, Pic 2

An Entertaining Article (ESPN)

Quote of the month:

“I am sorry that anyone was offended by the wardrobe malfunction during the halftime performance of the Super Bowl,” Timberlake said in a statement. “It was not intentional and is regrettable.”
– Justin Timberlake

Yes, that’s right. A “malfunction”. A cell phone can malfunction. A server can malfunction. A stage costume gets ripped by sexually motivated hands.

Can anyone explain why such an elaborate nipple decoration is needed with such a costume? Nose ring’s at least are visable. But why decorate what you don’t intend to show? It’s like putting down an expensive wood floor in your garage, then cover it in concrete.

Sidenote: Isn’t it a little crazy that a breast is creating so much buzz? Not to long ago, a woman showing their ankle was inappropriate. Created some controversy at first, but people got over it. You’d think we would have matured by now no? I guess not, traffic to this page is way up today thanks to this post. And interestingly, it’s all traffic from American ISP’s, despite being an International headline. Guess other countries are more mature.

Nipplegate, it’s wonderful that this is the new conspiracy in America.

Categories
Funny

Friends foil Olympia Man’s Home

This is absolutely wonderful.

One of the better pranks I’ve heard of in recent times. Creative fun. And I love the picture of that book.

😀