Category: Funny

hahaha

Categories
Funny In The News

April Fools

As is tradition, April 1 is a day where you don’t believe anything you see on the Internet. Here are some of my favorite pranks so far:

I’ll update this post if I spot some more good ones.

Categories
Funny Mozilla Security

Mozilla Security Hole: Household Emergent Behavior Vulnerability

I sent the following to the security list at 4:02 PM EST. I rate it a “critical” security vulnerability due to the harm it can inflict. This vulnerability is found in all Mozilla products to date (including nightlies).

Overview
Apparently Firefox has been making sexual advances towards Roomba’s (as seen on slashdot 02/05/2005), causing them to lock themselves in rooms in order to avoid being molested by the otherwise innocent looking Mozilla Products. Similar problems have been reported with other electronic devices: Toasters, VCR’s, Cell Phones, Alarm Clocks, Rosie the maid from the Jetsons, Johnny 5, R2D2, and Al Gore. I suspect people with pacemakers may be at risk, but I have yet to find any direct evidence or testimony.

Analysis
The vulnerability seems to be in nsISEXUALadvance, though libPr0n may also be problematic. There are actually 3 distinct problems with nsISEXUALadvance:

  • Doesn’t check to see if object.sexualDesire is of the same platform type
  • Doesn’t check to see if object.sexualDesire is >= age Of Consent
  • Doesn’t check to see if object.sexualAdvanceCount <= 1

I have yet to find if libPr0n has any influence on this bug. There is some research that suggests it many influence this behavior, though some ideological bias may be influencing that conclusion.

Products Effected
This vulnerability effects all Mozilla products tested.

Recommendation
I’d suggest this block Firefox 1.1, as well as Mozilla 1.8b until it’s resolved.

Provided and/or discovered by:
Robert Accettura Feb 5, 2005

Etc.:
This fufills a statement that I gave Asa over IRC that I could beat some of the other goofy stuff that comes in to security@mozilla.org.

Categories
Funny Politics

Prescription Drug Plan

Drug Plan

Drug PlanThere has been a ton of talk lately about prescription drug plans, and what can be done to make drugs more affordable. Drugs manufactured in the United States can be found cheaper in Canada, and other countries. I thought about this for a little while this evening, and came up with a solution.

The image to the left depicts my plan. For several million dollars we would build a 4 lane overpass with the Canadian government. Trucks shipping drugs would drive into Canada and go onto the “Drug Highway”. This highway would do a 180 degree turn, and take them back towards America. Now that the drugs have been in Canada, the cost is much less than if they were shipped directly to pharmacy’s in the United States. The new overpass in Canada will ensure it doesn’t interfere with traffic, or cause any burden on Canadians or Americans crossing the border.

Once back in America, the now re-imported drugs can be distributed to pharmacy’s at a much lower cost. And no negative effect on the trade deficit!

I’m pretty certain my solution would prove to be the best solution to the Prescription Drug dilemma in the United States. Contact your representative, and tell them that they should use my proposal. I have a cost effective way to make drugs more affordable. See if they have a better idea. Come on. Let them know.

Categories
Funny In The News Politics

Just wow

As if nobody knew the federal government was a haven for the mentally disturbed… Check out this article.

The latest US Weapon: turn the enemy gay.

You read that right.

I’m curious if anyone will be able to top that one.

Categories
Funny

Geeky Romance Novel

Well Slashdot’s latest poll asks what your least read was… well I don’t know, but I think it would be fun if we had a tech romance novel, something for us geeks to read, just like women like those romance novels. So print out this blog post, put on something comfortable… awe heck just read, and don’t tell me what you were doing to your body while reading it, I really don’t need the details. This is pretty much a rip from those many hours coding while watching Comedy Central. Watch enough SNL, and various standup and you may even pick out parts.

Exception: if your an attractive female, feel free to send pics 😉

Slightly mature, though subtle, use your discression.

Continue reading “Geeky Romance Novel”
Categories
Funny In The News

Advertising and the media

“We all leave our doors unlocked. We can run around in our nighties. It’s all girls and we feel really safe and that will change,” said student Starbuck Hersey.

A hearing on the lawsuit against the school is scheduled for Dec. 16. Until then, the school is actively recruiting male applicants.

[Source: FoxNews.com @ 12/8/2004 1:20 PM EST]

Think they will have trouble recruiting male applicants after that quote? That’s about as great advertising as it gets!

Categories
Funny Personal

School is a pain in the butt

School treating me like it's bride

The picture here represents how school is treating me lately, and the reason I’m so behind on stuff I’ve been wanting to do. As you can see, I’m represented in the picture, so is school, and you, my faithful reader are also shown, merely watching on as school treats me to some “learning”.

School is a pain in the butt.

Enough here, move along…

it will be over soon enough, and I can get some sleep.

The semester has to end eventually.

Picture from AFP via Yahoo

Edit: And for some reason IE is messing up the rendering of this post. No other browsers seem to be effected. I’m not suprised.

Categories
Funny

Wolf Pr0n

Wolf Pr0n

Wolf Pr0n

Believe it or not, I used this in a college presentation. I’m a terrible person.

Categories
Funny Programming

And I was coding… and stumbled upon AI

Well, I decided I would take a stab at AI (Artificial Intelligence). I always found it mind blowing that people are actually trying to do that with technology. Just amazing. So I thought I’d try and simplify AI down to 1 function. Since I believe that essentially life can be made into 1 function.

< ?php
function analyzeReproduction($person) {
  if ((sizeof($person[‘penis’]) < 5) || $person[‘job’] == "programmer"){
    unlink("/usr/local/bin/sex");
    exec("/usr/local/bin/masturbate");
    $resultVar = 0;
  } else {
    exec("set SEXLIVE=true");
    exec("set GREATSEX=true");
    exec("set HOTGIRLS=true");
    exec("/usr/bin/woohoo");
    exec("/usr/bin/ahh");
    $resultVar = 1;
  }
  return $resultVar;
}
?>

Anyone want to guess how it returned when I ran it?

Categories
Funny Google

Make me laugh for a Gmail account

Ok, well I have a few Gmail accounts to give away, but I want to have fun. So here’s your mission:

Make me laugh

Rules (must read before attempting this contest)

  • I decide. Simple as that, 100% up to me. That’s the way it goes.
  • USE THE COMMENTS FORM… unless…
    If your going to say something that may be deemed offensive, use the comment form. Do not try and make a comment with a dirty joke. Violators may be disqualified, and blocked. Use the comment form if your not sure, and if it’s appropriate, I’ll give you the nod to make a comment. Adult jokes by comment form ONLY. No exceptions. Make a mistake, and you will make me mad.
  • Information required: valid email and name. That’s who I will send it to. Use bogus data sflkdsjf@adsfjlksdf.com and you will not get an invite.
  • Multiple entries allowed, but use discretion. If I feel you are to spammy, your not getting one. So send your best 1 or 2.

    • Oh, feel free to invite others to try. And come back to read. Hopefully a few won’t be ‘comment only’

    As for what tickles my funnybone… well that’s half the game. Those who know me, know very well what the sweet spot is. For the rest of you, good luck. Don’t bother asking, I won’t tell, you can scour the blog if you want. Not sure if that will help though.

    There are 2 (maybe 3) accounts to give away this time. Lets see how good you guys are.

    Use the comments form in compliance with the rules above. Violators WILL be prosecuted.

    This contest will run until at least Sunday night (9:00 PM EST). It may be extended at my will if the contest has a lot of entries (and if they are good).