Funny Spam

Real Spam

Well, I have been spending some time (don’t laugh) reading spam. I’m actually analyzing spam for generating some new rules for the SpamAssassin Project. It’s seriously good software, check it out. This is some real spam about my favorite science, Penis Enlargement. It is slightly suggestive, so don’t read on unless you are ok with my immature sense of humor. I don’t need complaint emails. Don’t like, don’t read. It’s that simple.

Penis Pills-Don’t be fooled by those fake imitations. Don’t be embarrassed anymore, buy today!
Over 100,000 Satisfied Customers! Ladies You can also buy this for your men you won’t regret it!

OK, so I’m supposed to order penis pills, and NOT be embarrassed anymore? So when I get a invoice that say “PENIS ENLARGER” I’m supposed to feel confident and proud? Why not add on some Goat porn? Or perhaps sexual bloopers from Planet of the Apes. At least that isn’t a direct reference to my glands.


So a doctor devoted their time to helping achieve giant penises… and tested it, and approved it… What does that tell you about the doctor? Hello Freud? You there?

Do you want a bigger PENIS?

I want one so big I can’t wear pants. If I walk down the street I could poke a midget’s eyes out. Then when someone says “hey you there, yea you… the guy poking short peoples eyes out with your monster penis… can you hook me up with your secret?… My aunt is a midget, and I wanted to do that to her for such a long time.” That will make me feel good about myself.

If you are serious about ENLARGING, strengthening and developing your PENIS, then you have finally found what you are looking for. With over 35 years of research behind our product, we can guarantee results.

35 years devoted to giant penises eh? I sure as hell hope that’s a lie. If the doctor is a women, she obviously hasn’t seen the giant devices on the market already. Cheap and battery powered. If it’s a man… Well,.. Paging Dr. Freud? Penile ward for Dr. Freud.

Our proprietary excercises when used with the DHG supplements will give you results!

Exercises eh? What, the penis push ups I do now aren’t enough? I do it until my penis throws up! That’s not enough? What else? Penis yoga, so it can finally reach that G-Spot? How about a penis decathlon to celebrate penile accomplishments… no wait, that sounds to much like decapitation.

WE Guarantee it!
Other men will stare in amazement when they see the new you at the gym.

Yea, that’s what I want. Men staring at my exposed gland when I’m at the gym. Boy, that’s really selling. I’ve been trying to impress Gary down at the gym for quite some while, I’m sure this will help.

Now will this improve my popularity if I go to prison? Will those guys stare in amazement at my penis as well? Or will they give me free cigarettes and run away with their hands over their butt holes?

Imagine what your partner will say when they see your enlarged penis

Honey, if you think your putting that… back there… you got another thing coming!”
“That would hurt more than giving birth”
“Giving birth vaginally hurts… forget about back there”
“Large objects only come out, not go in”

Yea, that’s what I want to hear.

Your enlarged penis will give you a massive boost in self-esteem to approach any woman

Since I can’t wear pants with my giant swollen member, I figure, what do I have to lose with approaching a woman? If walking around with a giant tool and no pants isn’t a sign of self-confidence… what is?

Besides, at least she knows what’s coming ahead of time. No guessing here… Now if only it were so easy to decide if those boobs are real….

Pentrate deeper and wider to give your partner the most satisfaction possible

Is this an ad for penis enlargement or a post digger? Why don’t you pitch this add at a more relevant audience? Say the phone company… or a fence builder. They dig lots of holes.

Wider eh? Yea, I always loved seeing women waddle , because I stretched their pelvis bone. Yep, if a chick walking like a pinguin isn’t a turn on… your most likely gay.

Be in control of your sexual desteny. Don’t worry about being up to the challenge, premature ejaculation and weak performance will be a think of the past

Wow, now my penis sounds like a high performance car! Why buy motor oil though? Doesn’t it lube itself adequately. Being up to the challenge, weak performance? This sounds like a midas commercial. Except I trust the folks at midas more with my car then with my penis.

Check US out today we have some of the best products out there on the market don’t be fooled by all those fake products out there. Give ours a TRY!

“Try” eh? You don’t reuse what people return do you? You have got to be kidding me…. where do I sign up?

Click here now

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