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Funny Politics

Monkey’s On A Plane

Oh boy would “Monkey’s On A Plane” be a blockbuster. Just a blank tape with that title would make millions. Film a real movie, and it’s [pinky in mouth] billions.

Well, apparently enough monkeys travel on commercial airlines every year to warrant their own section in on the TSA website. I’d love to have a monkey sitting near me, rather than a small crying child. Why do I get stuck with kids near me, instead of a chimp?

Excerpt copied below to ensure this gem is never lost:

Monkey Helpers

  • When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,
  • The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.
  • The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.
  • When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.
  • Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on.  Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.
  • TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.
  • TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.
  • The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.

Source: TSA.gov

Hat Tip to JWZ.

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